Adoption Song - A Post For Mother's Day

I was an adopted child.  In the late 1950s and early 1960s, it was a source of fascination to my friends who had “real” moms. My friends would even quiz me on walks home from school.  “Doesn’t it feel weird?” they’d ask me, expecting a different answer from the simple “no” that I gave them.  “You don’t look much like your mother” was a phrase I heard many times when I was young, or “you and your sister look so different”.   We did look different as night and day, with my mom and dad being dark haired and my being blonde.   My mom’s olive skin tones didn’t relate to my fairness, and my sister’s obviously Irish heritage confused people next to my Scandinavian features. 

I always knew I was adopted, because my mom started telling me as soon as she figured I’d understand.  There wasn’t a big family talk about it, there weren’t any feelings of my being abandoned, or angst about missing the birth mother I’d never known, it was just a fact of life, not a big deal to me.  Of course, both my parents acted together in this, but I’d like to credit my mom with making sure that I knew, down deep where it counts, that I was wanted.  That she and my father waited 10 long years on a list until I, and then my sister, came along, and that they, in fact, prepared for us.   

She kept this poem, cut out of a newspaper article, on the old cork message board next to the wall phone in our kitchen, a thumb-tack stuck through the top:

“Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously
My own.
Never forget
For a single minute:
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it.”

On this Mother’s Day, I give this to other moms, perhaps not birth mothers, but mothers just the same.  May you give your child what my mother gave me – unequivocal love and a strong sense of belonging that molded me into the person I am today.  On this Mother’s Day, I’ll say a prayer of thanks for my mom, Helen Elliott, who loved another woman’s child as her own.     


Back next week with another post....enjoy your week, my friends!


Lori