My Mother, Helen V. Elliott - A Tribute For Mother's Day

My mom was born in Grinnell, Iowa, on a farm, in 1911. Second to the oldest of five children, her parents both died when she was 11 yrs old. Not long after they passed, she lost her youngest brother, and then the farmhouse and everything in it to fire.  She and her sister went to live with their grandma in town and her younger brother stayed with family friends closer to school. They helped out their grandma, Hattie Eichhorn, at the tea room she owned, and learned the fine art of cooking and baking.  All the siblings could cook like champions, except for the oldest boy, Shirley (old family name), who took off on his own after his parents' death.


My mom married her high school sweetheart right after her college graduation and lost him two weeks later in a motorcycle accident in the mid 1930s. She later married again to a scoundrel who drank and cheated on her. In the early 1940s, an era where women didn't do that type of thing, she was strong enough to divorce him and escape with her friend to California.  There she met and married my father (we'll talk about him on Father's Day).

Her health was never that great. As a child, she suffered from rheumatoid arthritis so badly that her legs had to be wrapped up and she was bed-ridden in the winter. Possibly because of the rheumatic fever, she was never able to bear children and had to have a hysterectomy shortly after her first husband was killed. She and my father adopted me in 1957 after having waited on a list for almost 10 years....she was 46 years old. They adopted my sister 17 months later.

In the very early 1970s, my mom decided she wanted to go back to work. This was not the norm for wives and mothers in our neighborhood and my father was dead set against it. This was the only argument I ever saw my parents have and she won. She worked for Fashion Fabrics in Westchester and eventually became their West Coast Regional Manager. By this time, my dad had semi-retired and worked out of the den at home. My mom loved what she did, but truth be told, she was very glad to be out of his way as he watched all his sports on every TV in the house!

She was diagnosed with colon cancer in March of 1981, two months after her granddaughter, my daughter, was born. They found cancer in her liver simultaneously. She had a partial colostomy and steadfastly refused chemo treatments. She did a round of radiation, called it good and went back to work as soon as she could. She loved being surrounded with fabrics and made most of the clothes my sister and I wore when we were young.  She tried to teach me to sew, but I was much too worldly for that....now I could kick myself in the butt for not learning.

The cancer eventually made its way into her bladder and she had it removed when she was 79. After recovering, she went back to the fabric store - a different one in the local mall, because Fashion Fabrics had closed all their California stores. She finally stopped working at 81 and she passed away in 1994 at age 83.
 
My mother was an incredibly strong woman, despite her health issues....or maybe in spite of them.  From Scandinavian stock, her resilience to adversity was legend in our family.  She was the epitome of perseverance, grace and hospitality.  She and my dad were open minded enough to want to adopt children back in a time when it wasn't that common.  She never lied to my sister and I about our adoption, either.  I don't remember a time when I wasn't aware of it but she made sure that we knew that she loved us more than life.  And to start raising children at the age of 46 showcases her strength of character....she was 48 when my sister was born.
 
This is my mother's story.  I'm sure there's a lot more, but she wasn't a woman to talk of herself much.  I can only hope that I mirror her outstanding qualities.  What a compliment it would be for someone to say that I remind them of my mother!  Happy Mother's Day, Mom....I miss you! 
 
I hope you and your family enjoyed Mother's Day.  Have a wonderful week!
 
Lori Elliott Webster